Felicity's Story and Dreams

Felicity is a beautiful white/tabby cat that currently occupies a large cage with several other cats at the Town Lake Animal Shelter (TLAC) in downtown Austin as part of Austin Pets Alive! (APA!). Austin Pets Alive is a no-kill shelter for stray/unwanted animals. They care for hundreds of cats that are in need of love and compassion. Although Felicity is well cared for at Austin Pets Alive, this is just a temporary home until her forever home can be found. Carrie Underwood's song, "Temporary Home" describes a little boy suffering the same loneliness as Felicity. Listen...

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Temporary Home - Carrie Underwood [w/ lyrics]

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User: mniicoleex3 - Added: 2/17/10

 We do not know what Felicity’s life was like before she came to the shelter. As far as we can tell, she was a stray that was not able to find a real home while living on the streets of Austin. She was very lucky to be found and brought to a safe haven.  As Felicity peers out at me through her cage, I recall lines from Rilke’s “The Eighth Elegy,” and I picture Felicity  “calmly…looking through and through [me]” and in her melancholy, bearing “the care and burden of a great sadness.”[1] I cannot help but feel for her and wonder what happened in her past to bring her to this point. It is my hope to help her find a loving family and permanent home. Through the use of sympathetic imagination, I will tell her story as it may have unfolded, from her birth to her current wait for a permanent home.   

“Everybody, everybody, everybody wants to be a cat! Everybody, everybody, everybody wants to be a cat…” [2] blares from a television in the apartment above the searing sidewalk on the sweltering July day in downtown Austin, Texas. Momma cat is looking for a cool place to hide away as she paces back and forth in a state of apprehension. She is within hours of giving birth to her kittens. She edges into the apartment laundry room and slips in behind the coke machine. Her time has come and she begins panting and breathing laboriously.[3] One by one, she gives birth to three tiny kittens, all unique and beautiful: a tuxedo black and white fur ball, a cute little tabby, and one little white and tabby angel. [4]

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scgn1wF4Jkg (Sounds of Newborn Kittens)

I’m cold and I hear noises—screeching, high-pitched cries that hurt my ears. What is that commotion? Slowly, I realize it’s me I’m hearing. I want to stop, but I can’t. Every time I breathe out, the sound is there, terrifying me. It is very dark and I cannot open my eyes. I feel other movement around me, crawling over me, snuggling under me and sharing the same cry I hear from myself. Once more, a third shrill cry rings in my ears from somewhere nearby. I’m scared. What is happening? The other piercing sounds fade and there is only me crying, lamenting my plight. 

 Figure a. Felicity, tiny kitten

Suddenly, I feel something warm and wet brushing my coat. I don’t know why, but I feel myself calming down. I sense something comforting and I let go of my fear.  

 Figure b. Momma cat cleaning Felicity 

I’m rolled over from one side to the other as the warm moist breath covers my fur. Ahhh, that feels nice! No need for my piercing squeals now. As I lean against the warm fur that coaxes me to rest and hungrily slurp sweet, warm milk, I try to stop mewing. But I can’t—something is wrong…Momma tries to reassure me and I finally doze off with my siblings, as the whispering coos escape my throat.  

 Figure c. Felicity with her brother and sister

Guess what? I can see now! And boy, is there a lot of  world to see! My siblings and I love to frolic together, flipping over and chasing each other around the warm room. My favorite thing to do is to snap up on my tiptoes and sidle stealthily, like a crab, toward my tabby sister and then—POUNCE! GOTCHA! Ahhahaa! We could do that for hours. Gotta run, it’s Tabby’s turn to chase me! 

 Figure d. Felicity and her sister playing

Momma cat warns us to be cautious of these things she calls “humans.” She says that some of them are nice, but there are some who aren’t kind. I haven’t ever talked to any of them. I’m a little shy. Momma cat also reminds us that not all animals are our friends either. Dogs or coyotes or even hawks might try to hurt us. We tell Momma cat that we’ll be careful.

Figure i. Young Kitten Felicity

One day, I saw a lovely dragonfly flitting past the laundry room door I couldn’t resist following it. I couldn't keep up--it moved so fast!

 Figure e. Dragonfly

I ran back to our home, but everyone was gone: My mom, my brother, and my tiny sister. Where did they go and why did they leave me? My instincts tell me to keep moving. I have to find food on my own.

 Figure f. Felicity searching for food and shelter

It’s been many months now and I’ve been drifting around trying to stay safe. Rainy weather is always a challenge, but I’ve learned to find the high ground under an overpass or in a shed behind restaurants. I’ve also gotten really good at hunting mice and small rats, so I haven’t been starving.[5] I‘m very careful when I’m out hunting in a field. I was almost lunch for a red-tailed hawk. She swooped down from a light pole and left with a talon full of my fur when I shot out of her reach at the last second. She must have heard my incessant mewing. I’ve never been able to stop that noise. I head to the city center.  

I know the best food places right downtown. There are rows and rows of restaurants, so I can always find food thrown out in the dumpsters. Since I’ve been hanging around the stores, I’ve also encountered many humans. Some of them feed me scraps from the restaurant tables, but others try to hit me or throw things at me. Others yell at me to “SHUT UP!” Momma cat was right about them!  

It’s late January now. It’s gotten very cold and windy, so I must find a place to stay warm.  The sun recedes early and darkness covers my path. Something pummels my coat as I plod through the bitter chill. Rain! No, ice! I’ve got to find some shelter quickly. The pads of my feet are starting to bleed as they stick to the pavement. Step by step, pink tinged paw prints glimmer in the ice.  

 Figure g. Ice Storm, Austin

I’m freezing as the icy gale buffets me. I push forward against the storm, but it pushes me backward. I see a light ahead, but I’m too tired and I have to rest. Just let me lay down for a minute and then I’ll go find shelter. 

Warmth. Light. I open my eyes to see the kind eyes of a red-haired lady wearing a black shirt. She smiles at me. I’m not feeling very well and I fade out again. I wake up again, hearing my vocal moans. I’m feeling better and I look around. I’m in a small cage, but it has fresh water and food and a warm blanket, so I don’t really mind.  

The cage…has gotten too confining. I’ve got to get out of here. She’s coming toward me and scoops me up. She calls me Felicity. I like that name. She strokes my fur and I purr contentedly. She gently places me in another area, a big space with other cats. Some black, some white, some yellow…I don’t know any of them. I miss my mom and siblings. Slowly, we get to know each other and we play together.  

We’ve been here for a long time now. It seems like just yesterday that I was born, but today, I am two years old. Sometimes humans come in and pet me and play with me, but they always leave me behind. Some of my friends have been adopted, but not me. What I really want is for someone to take me home with them. Maybe they don’t like my voice? I’m trying really hard not to be too loud…it’s not easy, but I won’t give up on my forever home.

Figure h. Beautiful Felicity

 A forever home, filled with love and affection, is all Felicity wants and I have tried to make it more accessible for her. When I first went to Austin Pets Alive, I was dismayed to see all the cats and kittens in cages, in several different buildings. However, a sound reached my ears and coaxed me forward. I heard her before I first saw her. I thought she was just making noises to get attention, but as I read her information tag, I learned that there was something wrong with her vocal chords. I was drawn to her in a very personal way. I think it was because I have broken parts in me, too. I identified with her imperfections. They reminded me of my own shortcomings. I always wanted that perfect voice to sing out enchantingly, but it never happened. I sing at church, but mainly I just make a joyful noise. On top of that, I also remember a time when no one wanted me either. It broke my heart thinking that maybe her damaged voice was why she wasn’t getting adopted. 

She is quite striking with her bright green “peer into the bottom of the sea” eyes. She really does captivate with her beauty. If I had room in my home, she would have that forever home with me. It saddens me to know that I cannot help her myself. This is what I’m supposed to feel, right? Isn’t that just what this Animal Humanities class has been about? I ask myself those questions and I know it’s true. I feel deeply for human and animal life. And with this realization, I can honestly say that this was not an easy project, even though I originally thought it would be.  

In today’s email, Dr. Bump asked the question: “Did this attempt to widen the circle of compassion increase your ethical awareness?”  I say, unequivocally, yes, it did. For me, that was the easy part. The hardest part was bringing myself down to the same level as this amazing cat. Even though I don’t feel like I have trouble with sympathetic imagination, I struggled, because I don’t feel that I did Felicity justice. By it’s very definition, sympathetic imagination requires “the ability of a person to penetrate the barrier which space puts between him and his object, and by entering into the object…to secure a momentary but complete identification with it.”[6] In this case, I do not feel like I really succeeded. I never reached the “complete identification,” as much as I wanted to. I have never been homeless, at the mercy of other people for my wellbeing, or living in a cage, like Felicity has. I’ve never had the speech impediment that she lives with day in and day out.  

How can I give her a proper voice? Part of me wants to scream out the pain I feel for her. It’s in the deepest part of my belly—rising, though I suppress it, a voice that demands to be heard: “WON”T YOU LOVE FELICITY? CAN”T YOU SEE WHAT A PRECIOUS GIFT SHE IS?” And I wonder, what will it take to find her a home? I think I am helpless to make a difference and that is my biggest failure. I have never felt so much pressure to succeed in an endeavor. God knows I’ve been an overachiever all my life. However, this time, I’m not doing all this work for me, or for Dr. Bump, or for the grade—it’s for another living, breathing being. Words are just not enough.  

In this case, actions are more important. My words may not get Felicity adopted, as I would like, but that is no reason to give up and walk away. I want to keep trying to find her a home. I will enlist my other cat-loving friends to see if anyone else is looking for a new family member. I am also aware that I have a unique opportunity to help Austin Pets Alive and other animal shelters, because I do care. I will participate in bottle-feeding the motherless kittens. I will write more bios for other cats and I will be a better steward of the gifts that I have been given. I may not be the writer that some others are, but I have compassion and a desire for helping others and with that, I can make the difference I thought I could not make.  

In conclusion, I would like to thank Dr. Bump for his life-changing classes and teaching style. I have been reshaped by the experiences in our class and I feel certain that I am not alone. I am genuinely sorry to see this class coming to an end. It has been a blessing that I will cherish and continue to pass on to others as I move forward with my life.

[1] Judith Rilke, “The Eighth Elegy,” Animal Humanities, ed. Jerome Bump (Austin, Texas: 2012) 313-314.  

[2] Phil Harris and Scatman Crothers, “Everybody Wants to Be a Cat,” The Aristocats Soundtrack, from the Disney Movie, The Aristocats,”1970, DVD.  

[3] Marc de Jong, “You Have a Cat Giving Birth? Here’s What to Do!” Cat Pregnancy Report. http://www.cat-pregnancy-report.com  (accessed November 5, 2012). “During the last days of feline gestation…several signs indicate that birth is imminent [like] restless behavior. [The] queen searches for a place to give birth.” 

[4] Race Foster and Marty Smith, “Queening (Giving Birth) in Cats.” http://peteducation.com (accessed November 5, 2012).  

[5] Bashkim Dibra, CatSpeak (G.P. Putnam Son’s, 2001), 13 

“Cats are hunters by nature. Their keen senses impel them to chase down any small animal.” 

[6] Walter Jackson Bate, “The Sympathetic Imagination in Eighteenth-Century English Criticism,” in Animal Humanities, ed. Jerome Bump (Austin, Texas, 2012), 557 

IMAGES

a. http://alexandritesiberians.blogspot.com/2012/06/available-kitten-pantera-mishkas-blue.html

b. http://pinkbluelovescute.com/2012/09/mother-cat-cleaning-up-her-little-kitten/

c. http://www.bellachique.be/2012/08/they-are-here-flos-babies/

d. http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/175972774

e. http://www.flickr.com/photos/50588703@N07/4906705356/

f. http://www.kimballstock.com/results.asp?db=a&txtkeys1=hind%20legs. 

g. http://thatotherpaper.com/austin/great_blizzard_of_2007

h. Valerie Arnold, "Beautiful Felicity," 2012

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